The Value of Values

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I know that one of the things that makes life hard is when we don’t honor our values.   And for our children who may have their own set of difficulties as they go through life, helping them to live up to values, teaching them to embrace personal values and to honor family values could end up becoming the critical component that will establish security for them.

 

Our children will face their world with greater confidence when they have solid values to guide them.

Our children will face their world with greater confidence when they have solid values to guide them.

Cherished Values

Some people say that they have cherished values.  I know that when I am lied to it really takes the wind out of my sails.  I mean how can one feel safe or feel that another can be trusted if deceit and falsehoods have riddled our communications or the personal exchanges you may have with them.  I guess you could say that being truthful is one of my cherished values, because speaking the truth, being truthful, means that without a doubt that person can be trusted.

What are your cherished values?

These become like the roots of a tree that will ensure you and your family have a solid foundation for traversing life’s challenging times.

Why not take stock of your values and share them with us!

Remember Thumper?  

Here is another that I can’t live without, to be kind.  I have said to my children and now my grandchildren, “if you can’t say nothin’ nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.”  Can you see Thumper?  I can still remember this scene from Bambi where the little rabbit is repeating what he’s been taught.  We want our children to be taught such very important things.

Defining our family values and helping our young ones to understand them and to abide by them will immeasurably facilitate their daily interactions and their ability to traverse the hard times life will throw at them that throws at us all.

For instance, being honest, 100% honest, no little white lies, always factual, forthright, and absolutely honest is a tremendous value.  Lets be honest here, a white lie is still a lie, right?  And for a child that is very black and white about how they experience and view events that happen to them or around them, being plainly and completely honest may ensure you can be believed as their parent and caregiver.

Don't you feel that our children should be as bold and purely honest, like what an eagle stand for?

Don’t you feel that our children should be as bold and purely honest, like what an eagle stand for?

 

And as they go off into the world as they demonstrate their honest characteristics, why it could become the difference of being employed or not employed.  Or at the end of the day their word will be viewed as so rock solid that it becomes their bond, as though their very words secure the accuracy and truthfulness of a matter.  Wouldn’t you like for your young person to become that kind of adult?  And all of this because they have chosen to be honest.

 

What other values do you cherish?

 

Would you include accountability in your list?  I believe when we teach our children to be accountable for their actions we are providing them with the tools to skirt problems and succeed in life.

We could write volumes on the many different elements of values but everyone is going to have their own list.  That list could be long or short because one of the values, say for instance being understanding can encompass so many other characteristics we could identify for ourselves.

List YOUR Values 

What do you think about these?  Our values tend to fall into two types of categories.  They are either what we want to be or what we foundationally feel we must have.

To Be:

Balanced, Brave, Calm, Cheerful, Content, Diligent, Dependable, Friendly, Excellent, Encouraging, Flexible, Gracious, Grateful, Helpful, Hopeful, and Hospitable.  Kind, Introspective, Loyal, Modest, Meek, Neat and Clean, Optimistic, Reasonable, Thoughtful, Tranquil, Understanding, Vivacious, Willing, Worthy, Witty, and Zealous.

To Have:

Assurance, Beauty, Clarity, Commitment and Community,  Contentment, Empathy, Friendship, Joy, Patience, Virtues, Wisdom

 I’m sure you were thinking as I have been that these qualities tend to be closely related to one another.  I agree, they are.  How they manifest in our lives would determine if it was a characteristic we would have or if it is one that we should be.

For example I feel that being loyal is a critical quality in a new or continuing relationship.  And receiving loyalty in a relationship ensures that relationship’s ability to survive in a world where families are torn apart by so many challenges.

Defining our values and living up to them will help us to weather the storms of life.

 

When the storms of life hit your personal shores, will you survive?  Having our values defined will ensure our survival.

When the storms of life hit your personal shores, will you survive? Having our values defined ensures our survival.

Now its your turn.  This could have hit a nerve, if it did, please let me know.  And by all means shoot me an email linda@specialneedsadvocatepower.com or share your comment below.  Please do share your experience with training your child to honor your values and to help them develop theirs.  Coming from that place where our values are  understood can bring peace to our household and be the foundation for our child’s confidence.  Well worth all the effort, right.

Drop Us a Comment and Share What Your Experience Has Been with Early Intervention!

Drop Us a Comment and Share What Your Experience Has Been with Developing Values and Character in Your Child!

2 Responses to “The Value of Values

  • Hi,

    As a coach and trainer, I actually work with values a lot. They are what motivate and drive us Iin life. It’s one of the first things I work on with my (adult) clients.

    I can see how it would be meaningful to help children to build that strong foundation by knowing what’s most important to them. Especially (but not only) in children with special needs who need to build resilience. Do you have any tips on how to build values in children? I’d be interested in hearing your comments in this as a relatively new mother.

    Thanks. Sarah

    • Linda

      Hello Sarah.

      You have a wealth of experience to tap into with your backgroound in being a coach and trainer in the adult world. I have taught my children since they were ever so little, that “your life becomes what your choices have been”. And I cycle the “teaching moments” around that message. On a personal note, I have found the wisdom in the Bible to be spot on for teaching principles like honesty.

      As parents we all know that our example and the example of other close family members is critically important. So everyone has to be held to the same standard. I like using illustrations, or stories from my youth and the lessons I learned. And as the kids get older and their language is sufficiently developed I like to use movies that demonstrate an important characteristic or value. One example I can think of is the movie about Erin Brokovich. What a story she is, still is as she continues to hold up the standard that polluting peoples homes is criminal.

      I hope this rings true for you. I expect you will find your own style with your children and that is a good thing. Oh, something that works wonders is to take walks with the kids, and to just be with them. Much harder nowadays with busy families, both parents working and all.

      Thank you for your considerate and thoughtful comment.

      Linda

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